Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.
Theodor Seuss Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss)
April 15, 2012.
A date that I'll never forget.
Actually, sometimes I forget the year, questioning if it 2011 or 2012.
Besides the actual date, the things I remember is that it was a Sunday, which spontaneously turned into a Sunday Funday, initially with one of my best friends before she had to catch her flight back to Ohio.
But besides the date being a friend's birthday and Tax Day, the real reason for remembering it was because it was the day that I met my husband.
It was at Houndstooth, a bar near Wrigley Field which is very well known for it's country music nights and all of the debauchery that follows.
Our versions of this night have always been a bit different, but both are also relatively accurate and based on our own individual, alcohol-impacted recollections.
From what I remember, I first saw him when I looked over to see that my friend was talking to a guy near the corner table that our two groups now shared. I thought that he was cute, and then noticed he was wearing an oversized Blackhawks jersey and wondered why he was wearing the hockey jersey when I knew there wasn't a game that day. The reason is something I learned but that's another story for him to tell. A few minutes later, we were talking and before I knew it, we were introducing our friends to one another and chatting with our mutual favorite waitress.
If he was telling the story, he'll say that he remembers seeing me from across the bar, saying that he noticed my smile, and then asked my friend about me and followed her encouragement to come over and talk to me. He'll share that he got me a new drink after mine was spilled, and later on, we ended up dancing in the middle of the bar. He will also probably admit that he literally laid one on me for our first kiss, which was pretty much him grabbing the back of my head as we sat next to one another in the booth with our friends all around us. He will also point out that I "tried to get him to go home with me that night", which I will admit to and defend myself to the put of exhaustion that my reasons were not at all what he tries to make it out to be.
Our night together came to an end with us exchanging numbers and him saying that he would contact me tomorrow. I'll share that I was skeptical due to my own trust issues developed from the past experiences, but he followed through on his word the next day. In doing so, he also planted the seed to help me in my personal growth by first allowing me to trust again.
We had our first date a week after we met, on Sunday, April 22, 2012 back at Houndstooth, with our infamous waitress-turned-friend being there yet again to serve as witness to the beginning of our journey together.
And just so you know, she was there at our wedding to celebrate with us.
Our second date was the following weekend, and after that our relationship is a bit of blur as it moved pretty quickly and we were both busy with graduate school programs and full-time jobs.
Some of the moments from the early days of our relationship may have have gotten lost in time, yet there are some that I can still picture quite vividly. I've come to see that these memories are so impactful because they are not only special and life-changing, but they are filled with unconditional love and respect.
For ten years now, I've lived life alongside my husband. I've seen him as a boyfriend, a fiancé, a husband, and a father, with the latter ultimately being my favorite role he's ever had.
In the past decade together, we have faced a lot of challenges, including ones that couples our age don’t typically encounter, but there have also been many great blessings and joys. Our daughter is proof of that, and our dog too, as both really have kept us heavily distracted and created lots of smiles, laughs, and playful moments to fill our days. I really do think that both of our girls are gifts from God, and I have also come to believe that I was meant to be a part of my husband's journey, and him a part of mine.
These last ten years have also coincided with my thirties, which has provided me with a ton of growth, self-reflection, and confidence. His health issues have obviously played a large role in my personal development, but for those who don’t know him, this great man may be one of the greater contributors to my growth due to the love and support he has always shown me.
Maybe it’s most accurate to say that he is the true inspiration behind my growth and fight to better myself. Inside I always knew that I needed to fight my battles and break down my walls, and it felt like the right time to finally work on doing so as a way to best support our family advocate for him, because it really is the type of love that he truly deserves.
From the very beginning, I have had a front-row seat to his declining health, including all of the physical symptoms, medical concerns, cognitive struggles, and personality and behavioral changes. I've created multiple electronic lists and have filled notebooks with my observations and concerns, as well as some of the internal struggles that he has disclosed to me, which I shared with dozens of doctors over the years. Not only was I living this disease as a caregiver, but I think it got to the point that I trying so hard to get a diagnosis, proper treatment, and (maybe more than anything) someone to really understand it all.
But at some point during this past year, I realized that I couldn't do that anymore. Living through this devastating disease, while trying to manage being a wife and mother, as well as professional in my career, it took away so much of my energy and, more importantly, didn't make me feel like I was the person I wanted to be. So I knew that some thing had to change, which really was my mindset because it was the one thing that I could still control.
Since this moment of recognition, I have tried my best m to stay focused on living life one day at a time and work to create moments that we can enjoy together. Some days, my husband and daughter enjoy building Lego sets or puzzles, have dance parties to Jonas Brothers and Taylor Swift songs, and invent silly stories and songs with words like poop, toot, and farts.
And while our days after often unpredictable, we always end them together as a family of four, cuddled up and watching TV. We call this "family time" and has become our favorite part of the day. It's also provided a lot of memories for us, ones that I hope my daughter never forgets.
Each day, we lose my husband a little bit more to this disease and I'm well aware that one day, it will take him away. But for now he is with us and therefore we shall keep smiling, laughing, dancing, cuddling, and keep making memories together.
You were given life;
it is your duty to find something beautiful within life no matter how slight.
( Elizabeth Gilbert)