Ground yourself, sit with all of your emotions. And when the sun reappears, let it all go.
When the sun shines in Chicago, there's this unexplainable feeling that takes over your whole mind, body, heart, spirit, and soul. It’s near heavenly, especially when the winter months were so cloudy and grays.
You feel refreshed by golden sun beams and beautiful blue skies. Instantly lighter. Happier. The stress and worries disappear. Life isn’t so hard, so dark. The world is brighter. Everything doesn’t feel as heavy. There's hope and a true belief that better days are to come.
Or at least this is how I have been feeling, as the sun has finally decided to visit us again in Chicago.
Yesterday, on a sunny Saturday, I sat in the backyard embracing the light that finally found its way back here again. Most of the time, it was just me and my dog. I tried my best to turn off my thoughts and sit with a quiet mind, fully open to letting the world speak to me through the sun's healing rays. And honestly, it did. A calmness came over me, and I felt a sense of peace in my heart, something that I have been praying to have once again for a very long time.
The truth is my world became very dark and heavy over these past ten years. I was living in black and white, only seeing momentary glimmers of colors on the good days. I got very used to the struggles, as they truly became my everyday norm. Even on the so-called good days, I found myself waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Why?
Because it always did.
After so many challenges, setbacks, symptoms, and disappointments, I came to believe that this was just the way life was meant to be for me.
But I'm starting to not only feel the light again, but I am also searching for it. I am letting myself believe that what has happened in the past, doesn't have to be my only story.
For so long, I have felt that I needed answers to move on, but perhaps it's not true. Instead, I just had to reach the point where I was ready to let go of the past and begin my next chapter, remaining grateful for the immeasurable growth and how it all changed me for the better.
Maybe the sun shining down on me these last few days is the sign that I have been waiting for, providing me with the light and healing energy to lead me in a new direction, after the darkness and all of life’s lessons.